These tools can guide you
Man, it’s not intuitive to know these things!
Isn’t that weird?How we don’t know ourselves and what we want as much as we’d like to?
WHY we don’t know what we want is a whole other topic I’ll not get into here. Let’s just focus on what we can do. What actions we can take to get us one step closer to knowing.
Get ready for the challenge. Everyone is different so you can’t simply copy someone else’s life and call it good. If you want to be happy you’ve got to build your OWN life in a way that will fulfill YOU.
Let’s dive in!
Find What Your Personality Type Likes
First things first, take a “personality test”. If you’ve never done one, don’t be scared. Answer some questions and you get back a description of your personality. (There are 16 generalized personality buckets).
You’ll see famous people who are the same type as you, get career and relationship tips, and find what you’re naturally good at and not so good at.
Heads up: you might not like what you get.
I didn’t when I first took it. This was because I was at a weak time in my life, so I was really embodying the weaknesses of my personality. The good news is you can work yourself away from your weaknesses.
A year after I read my personality type, a year with a lot of personal development work, re-reading my descriptions made me realize I now embody the strengths. I now see the weaknesses from the perspective of someone who WAS that way, not someone who IS that way.
It’s a pretty empowering feeling!
Here’s the link, its free! www.16personalities.com
Consider your options
Are you trying to decide between a couple options of what to do? How can you figure out which option is best? The simplest way I’ve found to choose between options is make a pros and cons list.
Its so simple and so effective.
Write everything out! From the impacts on your daily life, to your happiness, to any income you’ll make or relationships you’ll break. To get the full picture, nothing is off limits.
Using this technique, you can get a high level view of what you’re debating between and analyze it from a distance rather than having it all in your head.
Write down the one thing you want
What is your main goal? Can you write it out in one short, concise sentence?
Maybe its to find the love of your life and live happily ever after. Or is it to buy a house? Do you want to start your own business or travel around the world?
Sometimes we do know what we want, but we aren’t taking actions to get it. Writing out your goal in words can help you realize that the steps you have been taking aren’t actually getting you closer to your goal.
It also serves as a good reminder that the next step you take should definitely be pointed toward what you really want.
Remember the one thing you used to want
If you’re at a point in life where you really don’t know what you want, think back to a time when you did know. When was that time? What was it you were after? What has changed? Do you still want it?
If you do still want that thing, ask yourself these questions:
- What actions were you taking back then that you aren’t taking now?
If you don’t still want that thing, as yourself these questions:
- Have you given up on that objective?
- Do you want to want that thing, or are you over it? If you’re over it, why are you over it?
- What other thing have you replaced it with?
I realized that I used to really want to find “the one” relationship and be the best boyfriend I could be. After a couple heartbreaks I changed, and after some exploring realized I wanted to build a business and have more control of my time. My focus changed.
A change in focus is okay, as long as you have the motivation to REALLY go for it, AND as long as you’re okay not havingyour original want.
Revisit turning point decisions in your life
Turning points are big changes you made for a reason. Why did you make those decisions? What can you learn about yourself from them?
A great way to see what’s possible for your future is to look at your past. You are a great example of what’s possible in your life.
Were those turning points changing your life’s direction toward some goal? What was that goal? Are you still working toward it?
What were those turning points turning away from? Do you regret that turning point decision?
It’s hard to know what you want. No one can tell you what you want. Sometimes you can’t even tell yourself.
But you can discover what you want by exploring your mind and seeing ways other people live. No one else can discover this for you.
You got this!
