Do you want your life in 10 years to look like it does today? What about 5 years? 1 year?
No?
Are you doing anything today to make sure that doesn’t happen?
No?
Do you know where to begin?
I didn’t, but I pulled myself out of a 3-year mental rut caused by a relationship that never happened and an office job that was getting redundant.
Staying unhappy or depressed for long periods of time is unhealthy. Don’t sink into the same rut that I did of not taking big enough action to make a real difference. You can change your life anyway you want to.
It’s hard to know where to begin, so I’d like to share what I learned since my journey began. Handling situations, including mental “situations” in your mind, like this can have a huge positive effect on your life.
You get out of life what you put into life.
O, good old cause and effect. If something goes in, something must come out.
With a twist on a law of physics: if something goes in, something equal must come out.
What am I trying to say?
Simply that you get out of life what you put into life.
If you spend your time wallowing over a girl you never had (this was me), then guess what you’re going to get? Thoughts contribute highly to our emotions, so you’re going to get a lot of sad emotions about a girl you never had. (Trust me, they’re not fun emotions.)
If you spend your time doing nothing but watching TV all night, you’re going to get nothing but the knowledge of having binge-watched that season.
Instead if you spend your time working on improving your life, then you will get an improved life out of it.
Does this make sense?
So many people live their lives not changing anything and complain about the situation they’re in, or how they’re not getting something they wish they had, but they’re not doing anything about it.
Please don’t be one of these people.
If you are, you must realize that your complaining isn’t getting you anywhere, except maybe it
- …pushes people away from you, or
- …connects you with other people who also complain about the same thing.
Is that how you want to spend your life? Complaining about things you don’t have?
Wouldn’t you rather have those things? Sure it will take some work, but you must go after what you want if you ever hope to get it.
You know, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”, and all.
Do you know why you are where you are?
Have you ever wondered “What am I doing wrong?”
Maybe there’s an aspect of your life you wish was better, but you can’t figure out why what you’re doing isn’t working.
Yes, I was like that, too.
When you do the same things over and over and over again, you often don’t realize it.
Here’s the new flash: it’s not working so change it.
For me, it was close friends
To show you what I mean, let me get a little more specific.
I didn’t feel like my friendships were close because I didn’t feel like we shared many deep and meaningful conversations or experiences. Anything I would bring up in conversation would be pretty surface-level, and guess what, I got surface-level friends.
So what needed to change?
I needed to find more meaning in all of my life. By doing so, I became closer with friends because now I knew how to have meaningful conversations and how to be open to deeper relationships in life.
Ok, but where do I start?
You know, I’m glad you asked, because this was one of my biggest questions I didn’t even know I had. Basically, “I want X, but don’t know what to do to get it.”
If you’re missing something in your life, whether its close friends, a relationship, money, fun, anything…go read up on it and incorporate the idea of it into your life as much as possible.
- Talk to strangers about it.
- Watch movies that make you feel it..
- Ask your friends how they’re doing with it.
- Listen to songs and read books that preach about it.
Be open and invite in the idea of whatever is missing in your life. Work at it by trying new things, experimenting, and asking others who have done it before. Keep stepping towards whatever it is and eventually you’ll get it.
What if I don’t know what’s missing?
If you don’t know what’s missing, then it’s time for some self-discovery. Do you ever find yourself thinking “What am I supposed to do with my life?”
The short answer is this: Whatever makes you happy!
The long answer is many people don’t know what makes them happy because they’ve spent so long living lives other people have told them to live, which is why they’re asking “what am I supposed to do?” instead of telling “this is what I’m doing”.
Do you know what you want in life?
If you don’t then how can you know what’s missing? You can say
“I want closer friends”
or
“I want more money”
but that doesn’t tell you what you have to do to fix it.
Take those two examples and re-word them:
“I want deeper conversations with friends about life and purpose.”
or
“I want enough passive income so I can maintain my current lifestyle and only work 20 hours a week.”
NOW we’re getting somewhere!
In summary…
If you’re not getting what you want out of life it’s because you’re not putting enough into life.
Don’t stand on the sidelines of this marathon we call life thinking to yourself
- “Man…I’d be nice to cross that finish line.”
Get in there and run.
Take action towards what you want. If you’re stuck, find out why.
Why are you where you are?
How come you aren’t already in there running with other people who want the same thing?
Don’t just want things like “friends” and “money”, spend some time in that mind of yours to find what about these things you want more of. Maybe “deep conversations” or “passive income”.
Then when you do know what you want, go study that. Read books, watch movies, listen to music, talk with people about the thing you want. Your interest will show through and people will want to help you on your journey to get it.
