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Yesterday I had my first neurofeedback therapy session. The doctors designed it to help release the anxiety I didn’t know I carried. This is all subconscious, of course.

So what happened?

What worked. What happend.

Well they hooked up four sensors to my brain and one to each ear.

The four on the brain were placed specifically for the protocol they designed to target my specific anxiety.

The computer program listens to my brain activity from these sensors as well as my earlobe sensors and one temperature probe attached to my finger.

Within a minute of listening to the music through the headphones, my brain went to work to get the rewards given by the pleasant music.

What I felt was anxiety coming up in the center of my chest. It felt like a physical sensation of maybe pressure, fuzziness, it’s hard to put to words of course.

It’s a feeling I had felt before.

In fact, in the last when I felt this feeling, these sensations in my chest, I’d laugh and smile. Most likely I did subconsciously to cover up these feelings…thinking they’re uncomfortable or unpleasant.

And that happened here too. I smiled and likely subconsciously tried to push the feeling back down.

They said to pay attention to the next three days and notice how I feel. I’ll likely feel calmer.

Take notes they said.

Given that I meditate every morning for 30 minutes and can get to deep states of transcendence in that time, I believe I’ll recognize the effects of this NFT however subtle. I assume the challenge will be to determine what changes are from the NF and what changes are from other healing techniques I’m doing.

They said I would have more dreams. And that they’d maybe be weird.

Dream One –  Night of July 3rd

I was on a catamaran boat trip with tony Robbins. Tony was the captain. We all have headphones that n hm lurtooth connect to the boat. Tony and I are talking alone, walking around the inside of the boat. He’s telling me something about how specific words are used by the crew of the boat to it’s passengers, and if I can see a pattern. The first letter of each word increases alphabetically.

 At sea waves get really really really big one night like huuuuuge. The boat can only handle so much, so one wave completely topples is over. As it does, Tony runs to try to step but it’s too late.

As we fall, Tony like Tarzan runs, grabs a beach umbrella, jumps, and stabs the top of the boat with the umbrella, to help of fly a little so it doesn’t fall so much. And as I fall with everything else falling, I snatch the umbrella from Tony so that I may fly/float safely.

Like a movie it’s all over in an instant and now daylight. I’m still floating down and over everyone washed up on the beach. Not sure why but I have a weight in my handle kinda like a thin kettlebell or 15lb plate. I drop it, still floating as I float towards the massive wall that used to be the ocean where we came from. It’s not quite all rubble but kind organized and made from big spheres sod who know what. I find a pair of headphones. It’s still playing music from the boat.

Then someone else finds another and pulls out their phone or device that controls the audio programs. He starts one, and with a few people in front of him proudly explains with a smile that this program has a part where it measures how high/deep our boat is. The man on the recording says it’s 72 meters down, or away, not sure which.

I thought had I not taken the umbrella from Tony, the boat may be closer.

That’s when I woke up

Dream Two – Same Night

Was in some kind of lab with other students or something when one of the girls went missing. The teacher found her somehow I guess and showed us videos.

She was in some sort of big blue bucket. Then we see a kind of yellow orange beak come into view as if we were a bird and puke green shit into the bucket. This happens a few times slowly.

The assumption here is the girl got eaten by the bird but digested somewhat first.

It wasn’t a graphic dream so I did t see anything graphic or disturbing. It was more about the idea I guess.

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